Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year's Eve!!

First off the boy I posted about the other night made it home that night!! :)

Ok now I just wanted to wish the few readers I have a Very Blessed, Safe and Happy New Years!! May 2010 bring much joy to your lifes!! :)

We are going to some friends house tonight with the kids for a laid back time!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I think I might have really messed up tonight

You see a 17 year old boy has been living with my mom and (step) dad for about a year now so he can go to the school here. Things have been going on over there and they asked him to leave. I didn't find out about this till tonight when I called my mom and she was telling me what had happened in the last few days. While I was on the phone with her Lauren said she thought someone was here. I got up and looked out and it was him. He has never just showed up over here without my mom or dad so I asked my mom why she thought he would be here and she didn't have a clue. I got off the phone with her and opened the door. He came stumbling up and asked if he could use the bathroom b/c he had a massive nose bleed. I told him of course and walked him to the bathroom and got him a washcloth. He was cleaning his face up and I asked him where he was going... he said to the movies. I asked if he was by himself and he said yes. I asked him if he was Ok and he said no, no not really. He said he was feeling sick and needed to go before he gave us anything. I walked him to his truck and looked it over to make sure he hadn't had a wreak and was covering it up. The truck looked Ok. I then told him to be careful and let him drive away. The mother in me says I should have stopped him. I should have stalled him some how to make sure he really wasn't hurt. The longer I have sit and thought about him tonight the harder I want to kick my ass for not stopping him!

I keep thinking about his home life.. not at my moms. His parents are divorced. From what I've seen they are both just fine with him being my mom and dads problem. If he's not under their roofs he's good. He's been such a good kid until just recently and tonight it hit me like a ton of bricks that he might know I had the same life growing up and maybe just maybe he stopped here tonight looking for help. And now all I can do is pray he's OK and that I get another chance! Please tell me it won't be to late?!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

3rd one

I have been sitting here reading my old blog and I can't believe I am coming up on my 3rd Christmas without my Mamaw. Some days it feels like she's been gone way longer than that and still some days it feels like yesterday. This time of the year is really hard b/c it was our favorite holiday. We both LOVED Christmas so much! I haven't been able to bring down her singing Santa from the attic or play the snowman she loved so much. The snowman sits on my bar year round but hearing "Rocking around the Christmas Tree" is too much! It really sucks b/c the kids love that Santa and snowman!! Maybe next year Santa can come down to visit again.

Maybe it would be easier if my family was still close. I remember every Christmas morning I would wake up and see what Santa brought me and open my gifts. After I was done my grandparents would start cooking for everybody to come over and eat. I would play with all my stuff waiting for my cousins, aunts, and uncles to get there. I miss those days. We don't get together anymore... haven't since Mamaw went into the nursing home. My kids don't know what a "big" family is like. Their were 9 grandkids there every Christmas morning when I was little. They only really know 2 of their cousins... when they have 14 more. :( I don't understand how a family that was once so close can just drift apart and be OK with it. I now know she was the glue that held us all together and since she's gone we fell apart. Why does being an adult have to be so hard?